Pause for a moment and reflect on what you’ve said to yourself today. What is that little voice inside your head telling you? Was it mean and harsh? Was it kind and caring?
Your thoughts set the tone of your day. The words you use to speak to yourself can be much harder – even shocking when you start to observe them. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to the things going on in your life.
We tell ourselves things and speak to ourselves like we’d speak to no other person. Do any of these sound familiar?
“I look fat in this”
“I should have dieted months ago”
“I’m not good enough”
“I don’t have time”
“I’m not important enough”
Stop the Trash Talk
I challenge you to stand in front of the mirror today and talk to yourself about how you look. What nice things can you come up with? Do you go straight to the negative? Most people do. Either my clothes don’t hang right, or my stomach looks too big, I look tired or my skin looks dry. Why can’t we be nicer to ourselves?
Let’s stop the trash talk – write down 10 things you like about yourself. It’s harder than it sounds and may even make you feel quite emotional in the process.
You can also try ‘reframing’ your negative thoughts. For example:
- “How silly! I can’t control the voice in my head.”
- Alternative: “Learning to observe my thoughts and use kinder words can help me enjoy my life more. I’m going to try today.”
Stop the Excuses
We are all busy. A lot of the time when we’re trying to get through our lives we say that we just don’t have time for ourselves.
WRONG! We don’t MAKE time for ourselves. How much time do you spend thinking about other people’s needs? We put others needs (kids, partners, parents, friends, work) so high above our own that there’s often very little time for us. And I don’t mean making the odd appointment to have your nails or hair done. I mean consistently managing your life so you have the time to take care of yourself and do the things you want to do.
Self-love is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot but what do we actually mean by it. It’s prioritising your needs as just as important as everyone else in your life. Sometimes, even more important. Does that sound selfish? If you want to support and care for those around you, you must take care of you first.
The saying goes that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
You Are Worth It
You are awesome! Has anyone told you that lately? You are and you need to keep telling yourself this. Now I’m not advertising a certain beauty brand but, you are worth it!
It’s important you believe that you deserve the time needed to invest in your body. You deserve the time needed to exercise, eat well, rest, spend time doing the things you love, sorting your finances or doing whatever it is that will make you feel stronger, reduce stress and give you a feeling of joy in your life.
Self Talk – Taking Action
Did you write down 10 things you like about yourself? If you didn’t, do it now. If you find it hard then this says a huge amount about what you think of yourself. How easy would you find this if you were talking about a friend or one of your children?
Self-care is taking an honest look at your life and understanding what imbalances there are. How are you going to address these?
Plot on the picture below where you rate yourself currently out of 10 for each area of your life – 1=lowest, 10=highest
How round is your wheel? For most of us you will end up with a very strange shape with lots of dips and bumps. This makes it hard for the wheel to move anywhere. Where is your biggest imbalance? Once you identify your key areas, what are you going to do?
Self Talk – Setting Goals
“A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline” Harvey Mackay
What are your goals? Do you know what they are? Let’s start small – what do you want to achieve over the next 3 months? Say you wanted to lose weight and feel strong and healthy. What do you need to achieve this?
You need to be specific, what do you want to achieve by when. Most importantly why? How are you going to feel when you achieve it? What will this give you/allow you to do?
Key actions you need to take and when you’re going to do them. For example, for each week, plan in your exercise sessions, your food shopping, your meal planning and your food prep. Identify the things that might take you off track – busy time at work, family/friend’s events, bad habits. Tactics – what can you put in place to tackle your current habits?
Let your family and friends know what you’re trying to achieve and why it’s important to you. How can they help and support you? Talk to them about what they can do and the help and support you need.
How are you going to track your progress? What will you do if you go off track?
Stop Guilt in its Tracks!
STOP feeling guilty! Don’t feel guilty for taking time for you. Don’t feel guilty if you go off track from your goals. Stop, reset and restart. What’s the point in getting cross with yourself about something you have or haven’t done? It’s past, let it go and get focused on you again. Change your self-talk, be nice to your self and focus on you – you are enough!
People are becoming more conscious that positive self-talk is a powerful tool for increasing your self-confidence and minimising negative emotions. Some people may find it easier than others to start using positive self-talk. You may have to give it some time and effort, but the rewards are huge and you can completely change your menopause journey.
Where to get more help …
If you’ve got any questions – pop it in our Facebook group or join one of my weekly Q&A’s.