How To Improve Your Own Self-Talk
Listen to how you talk to yourself – what is your self-talk?
Are you kind? Are you mean? If you heard someone else saying those things to another person what would you think of them?
“I look fat in this”
“I should have dieted months ago”
“I’m not good enough”
“I don’t have time”
“I’m not important enough”
We tell ourselves things and speak to ourselves like we’d speak to no other person.
Stand in front of the mirror and talk to yourself about how you look. What nice things can you come up with? DO you go straight to the negative? I know I do. Either my clothes don’t hang right, or my stomach looks too big, I look tired or my skin looks dry. Why can’t we be nicer to ourselves?
Let’s stop the trash talk – write down 10 things you like about yourself.
A lot of the time when we’re trying to get through our busy lives and we just don’t have time for ourselves. WRONG! We don’t make time for ourselves. How much time do you spend thinking about other people’s needs? We put others needs (kids, partners, parents, friends, work) so high above our own that there’s often very little time for us. And I don’t mean making the odd appointment to have your nails or hair done. I mean consistently managing your life so you have the time to take care of yourself and do the things you want to do.
Self-love is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot but what do we actually mean by it. It’s prioritising your needs as just important as everyone else in your life. Sometimes, even more important. Does that sound selfish? In some ways yes, but if you want to support and care for those around you, you must take care of you first.
You are worth it!
You are awesome! Has anyone told you that lately? You are and you need to keep telling yourself this. Now I’m not advertising a certain beauty brand but, you are worth it! It’s important you believe that you deserve the time needed to invest in your body. You deserve the time needed to exercise, eat well, rest, spend time doing the things you love, sorting your finances or doing whatever it is that will make you feel stronger, reduce stress and give you a feeling of joy in your life.
Did you write down 10 things you like about yourself? If you didn’t, do it now. If you find it hard then this says a huge amount about what you think of yourself. How easy would you find this if you were talking about a friend or one of your children?
Self-care is taking an honest look at your life and understanding what imbalances there are. How are you going to address these?
Plot on the picture below where you rate yourself currently out of 10 for each area of your life – 1=lowest, 10=highest
How round is your wheel? For most of us you will end up with a very strange shape with lots of dips and bumps. This makes it hard for the wheel to move anywhere. Where is your biggest imbalance? Once you identify your key areas, what are you going to do?
“A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline” Harvey Mackay
What are your goals? Let’s start small – what do you want to achieve over the next 3 months? Say you wanted to lose weight and feel strong and healthy. What do you need to achieve this?
You need to be specific, what do you want to achieve by when. Most importantly why? How are you going to feel when you achieve it? What will this give you/allow you to do?
Key actions you need to take and when you’re going to do them. For example, for each week, plan in your exercise sessions, your food shopping, your meal planning and your food prep. Identify the things that might take you off track – busy time at work, family/friend’s events, bad habits. Tactics – what can you put in place to tackle your current habits?
Let your family and friends know what you’re trying to achieve and why it’s important to you. How can they help and support you? Talk to them about what they can do and the help and support you need.
How are you going to track your progress? What will you do if you go off track?
STOP feeling guilty! Don’t feel guilty for taking time for you. Don’t feel guilty if you go off track from your goals. Stop, reset and restart. What’s the point in getting cross with yourself about something you have or haven’t done? It’s past, let it go and get focused on you again. Change your self-talk, be nice to your self and focus on you – you are enough!
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